splitbeak: (Misc - Happy Meal)
If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
splitbeak: (Default)
Broken Guitar for Sale --
No strings attached!
splitbeak: (Farscape - The Great Escape)
Moving on to IT humor:

How do you set the laser printer to stun?

splitbeak: (STV - Janeway)
For every action,
there is an equal and
opposite criticism.
splitbeak: (Angel - Title Logo)


-is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life-
splitbeak: (Default)
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

splitbeak: (clerks)
Ekila lla era stsimrofnocnon.

splitbeak: (Default)
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

splitbeak: (Moonlight2)
Nothing is illegal until you get caught!

splitbeak: (Death Awaits)
The way to a man's heart is through his sternum.

splitbeak: (Forsaken)
Always Remember: Plunder First, Then Burn!

splitbeak: (Default)
Actually, this is more like "Quote of the Day" today, but after writing Heroes it's what I'm in the mood for. God that episode was depressing.

"Dance As
If No One
Were Watching

Sing As If No
One Were Listening

And Live Every Day
AS IF It Were
Your Last."

---Irish Proverb

splitbeak: (Default)
I used to live in the real world, but I got evicted.

splitbeak: (Default)
Where are we going, and why are we in a handbasket?

splitbeak: (Default)
All I want is less to do,
more time to do it,
and higher pay for not getting it done.
splitbeak: (Default)
Friends help you move.

Real friends help you move bodies.

splitbeak: (Default)
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
splitbeak: (Default)
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

splitbeak: (Default)
Consciousness: that annoying time in between naps.

splitbeak: (Default)
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

August 2011



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