Hey, You Never Know

I've had virtually no time to post anything this semester............. so there's a lot of them!


The Santa Society's Rude Awakening Prize

When Shirley Temple was a child movie star, she was the most adored kid in America. Years later, she explained how a star can be too admired for their own good. "I stopped believing in Santa Claus at an early age," she said. "Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked me for my autograph."


No-Brainer

It was a long flight on an economy airline, so the businessman was happy when the flight attendant asked if he'd like dinner. "Great," he said, "what are my choices?" "Yes or no," she replied.


They Never Saw It Coming

There are floods and there are suds, but very few floods of suds. Then in 1814, nine people in London drowned in beer when a brewery spilled 3500 barrels, flooding nearby houses with suds.


Ask a Dumb Question

When is a queen a king? You'd be surprised. After King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden died in 1632, his daughter Christina took the throne. But she was not crowned queen. According to Swedish custom, only a king's wife was called a queen. So Christina was crowned King Christina.


Original Thinking

Writer A. Whitney Brown: "I became a vegetarian not so much because I love animals but because I hate plants."


Popped Culture

Three non-political candidates who couldn't have been any worse than the politicians they ran against:
1) Comedian Gracie Allen, of Burns and Allen fame, ran for president in 1940 as the candidate from the Surprise Party.
2) Folksinger U. Utah Phillips ran for president on the Sloth and Indolence ticket.
3) TV comic Pat Paulsen ran for president in 1968 from the Straight Talking American Government Party. His campaign promise: "I know what the average American wants. In fact, I'd like to get a little of it myself."


Ask a Dumb Question

If you're worried about the negative effects of pollution on out environmnet, look at it with a clear eye- like the California resident who was asked by a reporter whether Lake Tahoe was still polluted. "No pollution," the proud resident said. "It's so clear you can see a beer can forty feet down."


Words of Wisdumb

You know that famous saying: people who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it? It's even worse for people who *do* learn from the past. They're condemned to be driven nuts by having to live in the same world with the idiots who refuse to learn from the past.

( Cut here to spare the few people on my friends list. Plenty more snippets within. )

Hehe, I learned something new today. Did you know that goats and other horned browsers (such as sheep, but mostly goats) can get their horns stuck in a tree? Then they die of either starvation or something eats them. How embarrassing would that be? You've got these big horns to protect yourself and then a tree gets you. The British Museum actually has a gold statue of such an event, called "Ram in a Thicket". It's not morbid or anything. Actually it's quite cheerful (the statue). I just think it's hilarious that something could naturally be built with that kind of flaw in the architecture. You may notice most horned animals have horns pointing backwards to avoid this. Deer are an exception because they don't need to climb on a tree to eat its leaves.