Hey, You Never Know

The apartment's been working out really great. I'm loving the freedom and finally having my own space. I still go to my parents' once or twice a week, but just because I'm all growd up doesn't mean I should cut them out of my life. Plus they have the treadmill.

I'm thinking about getting a pooch to join me in my minuscule kingdom. I did up a whole list of pros and cons, but I think I've talked myself into it. Didn't even need to go around to every single person I know and ask them to make the decision for me. :P "What should I do?" *whine* "But what do you think I should do?" *whine*

Only problem is I really like big dogs - something I could take for a jog. I'm pretty sure my apartment is sized for little dinky toy dogs. I don't think they run very well.

Oh, such problems I have these days... :D :D :D

So... I'm seriously considering moving into an apartment for the first time. I've done a little looking around over the last couple years, but there was always something in the way of keeping it from being realistic. First I had to get a full time job, then I had to finish school, etc. By the time I'd finished reasonable excuses, I was all gung ho about continuing to live with the parents paying minimal rent and save up for a house.

But, dude, housing of any kind on Long Island is expensive!

It's almost impossible to get any kind of apartment that's more than a closet hole in the wall for less than $1200/month, unless I want to move to the south shore or the city. The city means leaving the suburbs, which is really my comfort zone, and both options mean adding a decent commute to work. Not to mention everything I know. (I've lived in the same house all my life, worked in the same place since I was 17, etc.). I have Aspergers; I don't do change. Following those guidelines, it's just as impossible to get a house for less than $300k (ish) + $10k in taxes.

I've been saving hard, but it's still going to take me at least another 3-5 years to be able to afford a down payment. I love my parents dearly, but I was raised to be more independent than this. Everyone keeps saying it's the smart thing to live with your parents and save - especially in this economy - but I feel like a terrible person for living with my folks at 25.

So, a friend of a friend has an apartment she'd like to rent. Said friend happens to have a friend considering looking for an apartment. This sounds like a good match. So, two and two friends meet at a funeral party and walk out three friends. So I go and check out the apartment.

Overall impression: I could do it. It's not ohmygodimusthavethisplaceitsperfect!, but it's workable and the price is right (oh, so right).

So, friend-people, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to convince me to stop being a baby help me weigh the pros and cons of this little adventure.

Pros

Cons

Independence Great landlord. Normally I'm terrified of people, but I feel very comfortable with this woman. I probably couldn't ask for better. Great price. More room than I currently have. I get to squee like a little girl and decorate it. The bathroom is a lot nicer than most of the other apartments I've seen. Nice storage space. Pet friendly. The landlord has two dogs who like me (and vice versa), which also saves me from having to get my own (I planned to get a guard dog when I moved out to help me feel safe). She also has experience with birds and will not give me grief about mine. The place has just been renovated, so everything's new (or close to everything). I'm still very close to my parents if I need anything. I could probably/maybe walk to work. This is a big pro, because I hate driving.

I won't be able to save up for a house. I will really have to watch what I spend. This will be my first time living alone. I am by nature a huge hermit. Without the rest of my family to provide background noise, I might get even worse and go into people shock everytime I leave the house. I've been known to stop talking without people forcing me into regular conversations (see previous comment about Aspergers). Did you ever see The Net? I might become Sandra Bullock. The apartment isn't that big, even for an apartment. I'm used to living in a house. I might get claustrophobic. It's a basement apartment, which means the only windows are little half-size things near the top of the walls, so very little natural light. This could also be a problem for the birds. No A/C. No window to put an A/C unit in. I might get one of those portable things, which means one less window in a place with few enough already. And they're very noisy. Can't walk to the gym, which while minor, but may actually mean I go less. I'm weird that way and I know me. My mommy won't be around to cook for me. :P LOL. Yeah, I know, suck it up. This is a weak one. After 15 (20?) years of resisting ceiling fans (they're evil, I say!), I finally caved a couple months ago and bought one for my room. And Oh. My. God. I've been converted. How have I never allowed myself one before??? Well, now that I've been converted, I can't have one. No room in this apartment. Directly relating to the one above, very low ceilings. Maybe 6.5 feet. The birds are going to freak out being in a new place. Plus they lose people contact too.

Well, these seem to be the big issues. Now I'm going to ponder. And ponder. I'm very indecisive. Help me, people! Please!

My treadmill broke! Noooooooo! I need to replace the stupid belt.

**walks away whimpering**

1. Morning
Supposed to meet teacher for an independent study today for the first time. We've been exchanging emails, so there has been regular contact. We agreed last week to meet "in the library" at 10:30 this morning. I emailed her the night before to a)confirm and b)ask for a specific meeting location. The teacher emails back confirming that we're meeting... and that's it. Okay, thanks teach. Real helpful. So I email again, quote, "It's a big building. Where, specifically would you like to meet? I don't even know what you look like!" No response (it was getting kind of late). So I get to my university library at 10:15 like a responsible student and plant myself in front of the door, prepared to interrogate anyone who looked old enough to be a professor. "Are you..." "Excuse me, would you happen to be..." and so forth. No dice. Fortunately I knew someone at the front desk, so I asked her to keep an eye out for me while I ran upstairs and checked with the offices. (I'm a library school student, the library school offices and some classrooms are on another floor of the library, maybe the teacher was just thinking of the library school, as opposed to the building proper.) No teacher. Finally, half an hour after I'm supposed to meet the teacher, the teacher emails me (I had been regularly checking for one as I have no other means of contact). She wanted to meet me at her library. Her public library. Now, if I weren't one of those insane students who doesn't google their teachers before class starts to dig up any dirt, I would never have known that this woman was the director of Public Library X. Fortunately, she accepted blame for poor communication skills and I ran over to her library which fortunately was only 15 minutes away. Of course, my class was then shortened from 1/1.5 hours to 20 minutes. Oops. Then I had to rush to work. Oh boy.


2. Work
Okay, I'm going to relay this in the order I heard about it.

• Co-Worker 1: Is going to be out for 1-3 weeks because she just had her knee operated on (maybe replaced?). This wouldn't be news, except I was out for a week taking intensive classes.



• Co-Worker 2: Has breast cancer. Will be out for the foreseeable future.



• Co-Worker 3: Her grandson, aged 17 or 18, has a brain tumor. Passed out while seeing Harry Potter over the weekend and stuck in the hospital. Outlook unknown.



• Co-Worker 4: Is missing. Missing, missing. His wife called in and said he's been missing for over 24 hours, police report filed, please please please any information.... His car was found in a strange place, no sign of person. Oh shit. This was one of those eye opening times where I really got a new look at my co-workers. Everyone was gossiping, this is what we do... we work in a library, knowing information is what we do. It's a compulsion and it's understood. But as part of that standing, there is a silent line between gossip and shut the f*** up. There was a big re-hire about 2.5 years ago and there was a huge turnover in staffing. I've been around for 7 years. Missing Guy has worked at the library for ~20 years! Once upon a time he worked full time at the library, though this was probably 10 years ago. Then he dropped down to part time. Since the rehire, he's been a sub, working about 10 hours a month. The people hired since the big rehire were just gossiping for juice. Those of us from before were beyond gossip and moved on to concern. I actually spoke harshly to a co-worker I normally like a lot because of the gossip levels, and was supported by another old timer who I normally don't see eye-to-eye with. I'm a mouse at work; I don't say boo to anyone. I *really* hope he is okay.

On a good note, the night did end with a patron coming in and being unusually, retardedly polite. She asked me for information, not expecting results since it was a pretty academic question and we're a public library, but happy with whatever I could give her. I'm feeling pretty sick from all the bad news all day, and I just want the day to be over, forget about doing a complicated search. Fortunately, the co-worker I snarled at for gossiping (we're friends, I swear) talked the patron up while I was researching so I didn't have to worry about talking and working at the same time (talking really isn't my thing). After many stumbles, I found a search term that worked and I got the patron her info. The patron then thanked me by name. Very strange. I guard my name like nobody's business. You know the medieval myth about names holding power? Well, you give a patron your name, they have the power to call and complain about you. And that is all they'll ever use it for. Sure, call me cynical - I say experienced. But this patron was the exception - so uber polite. Cool.


After Work
Went out and celebrated a friend's birthday. He really liked his presents. Good time.


Get Home
I pull up to the driveway and see my dad's car is missing. I know he had a 4:00 meeting. Not good. My dad collapses at 10:00 sharp since his heart attack five years ago and it's about 11:00 now. Sometimes he has to stay at the office very late and can't drive himself home, so I or my mother have to pick him up. I call my mom before I even get out of the car and ask where he is. He just ran out to get some milk would be a really nice answer, but not likely. Fears confirmed, he has yet to come home from the meeting. So I go inside and mom texts dad for a sit rep. He doesn't answer. Five/Ten minutes later she just calls him. He's still in the meeting, no idea when it will let out. Forgive me, but after today, I'm feeling a little on edge and I want him home.


EDIT: 1 AM, and he's home. Jeez.

I'm going on my first business trip tomorrow morning! I can't believe someone is actually paying me to travel. So cool! (I sound so green right now, but whatever, this is awesome!) I'm going to California (Anaheim mostly) for a four day conference + 3 days of vacation (not including travel days!).

Squeeeee!

I'll even get to go to Disneyland for my birthday. Even better, they let you in for free on your bday. Can you say, "perfect?" Life is good.

Why am I so nervous?

Visiting my brother in Virginia. I don't get to see him often, so it's nice... in theory. We're still trying to figure out how to relate to each other in a peaceful manner (20+ years later). We usually look at each other blankly - what is this alien species we have here? (Or just make rude comments and walk away.) He gets points for finally making an effort though (sadly it's always been a one-sided attempt at a relationship).

I've spent the night sitting on his (very comfy) couch watching SG-1 on his (very big) tv. He's off doing... something. I'm pretty sure he's still in the apartment, I think. We have the best communication skills, don't we?

But we did get dinner (twice) - which I paid for (both times). And we did run around town like idiots trying to get groceries at 1am; as you can imagine, it was not a successful venture on New Years Day (but it's like, tomorrow already!). We'll just have to sleep through breakfast.

Btw, Subaru Impreza... not a good car for long distance travel when you are the passenger. Fun to drive, sure, but to sit in for 7-8 hours at a time, nuh-uh. My entire lower abdomen feels like it's been beaten to a pulp. The peppy ol' car's got quite a kick, and may be a fun racing car, but omg do I feel sick/abused (and I am *not* prone to motion sickness).

Around the beginning of June, I get a phone call from a conductor I knew for a couple of weeks... 5 years ago. She's organizing a summer orchestra festival at her university and is in need of bassists. Would I like to audition? Now, I haven't played in an orchestra since I transfered out of Ithaca College, 4 years ago. When I left the music school there, I resigned myself to basically ending my music career. I haven't continued my lessons or played in any orchestras since I left; there just wasn't time between my academic studies, work and a hefty commute. I barely had time to fool around for fun, let alone seriously practice. Suffice to say, I know my skill level couldn't possibly be anywhere near what it was.

And yet, listening to the conductor chatter on the phone, trying to get me to join, that little tingly feeling in my stomach starts acting up; this might be a second chance. I'm done with undergrad, and I'm taking the summer off from my grad program. There'll never be a better time (at least for the next few years). The only crux is that I have to take bits and pieces of days off work with only a month's notice (nowhere near enough time as far as my bosses are concerned - to many people with shared responsibilites and independent skills). Whatever, I make it happen.

Now I've got one week to beat myself back into shape for an audition that's more of a formality than anything else. And yet, coming in from the cold (4 YEARS!), I was afraid that I really didn't have any skill left. It certainly didn't sound like it the first day. I complained to some of my co-workers, "Ah! I'm finally getting old." But clearly I was exaggerating, as I pulled it off.

One month of cooling my heels later, and group rehersals start. The music was only released to the musicians two days before (not nearly enough time) and it was HARD. Most of the pieces are very fast and have a lot runs with plenty of accidentals. Needless to say, I was nervous going into this. I show up at orientation, and the first thing I think is, "Oh god, they're all kids." It wasn't true, but at some point I did grow up when no one was looking. Weird. Most of the orchestra is in high school, but since orientation I've found a few with wrinkles in the foreheads. I'm bracing myself for seating auditions, but when I come back from the bathroom (oh, the timing!) a sheet is already being passed around with placements. Thank god I didn't have to worry about that. Then I realize one of the other bassists has moved my bass (it is a little rude to touch another person's instrument without permission - they're very expensive and a livelihood for some) to the first stand. Ass to floor. Oh shit.

I take a little break and still come back section leader.

So now, not only do I have to play well, but I have to help other people play better. No pressure. (Although some guilty satisfaction, oh yes.) The other two bassists I'm playing with are actually quite good, and at first I can't believe the conductor put me ahead of one of them.

As rehersals get underway I eventually settle into my place. My hands are now callused again, my tendons and muscles no longer burn after a mere two hours, and the music is musical.

And so tonight's the big night, oh god. I still don't have every bit of music down yet, and I probably never will, but I think we still sound good. I hope all goes well. I'm going to miss playing again once this is over.



Tonight's program:
Beethoven's Coriolan Overture, Op. 62
Mozart's Oboe Concerto
Dvorak's Czech Suite
Reinecke's Flute Concerto, Op. 283
Wieniawski's Violin Concerto No. 2, Op. 22
and god help me, Mendelssohn's Italian Symphony, Op. 90

There's enough music to warrant our own intermission, apparently. I think we have over 1.5 hours worth of playtime, let alone stop time for the audience to clap, the winds to clear the stage, soloists to have their grand entry, conductors to give speeches, etc... this will probably be a long night. But hey, tradition, Friendly's afterparty!

Hehe, so, tomorrow being Sunday and all, I've decided I shall not set my alarm, and let fate decide when I will wake up. It's well earned I think. Two nights ago I collapsed in the bathroom and almost passed out on the tile floor when my blood pressure suddenly dropped. Yesterday I fell asleep in the library... and I NEVER ever fall asleep in public places. So yeah, I'm actually respecting my health for once BEFORE I get into a car accident on the way to school.

My mother hates when I sleep in. IT'S FREAKIN' SUNDAY!

So, as per my routine, I leave a sign on my door at night when I plan on doing this in the vague hopes that she'll leave me alone. About half the time it actually works. Sunday's usually a good day to do it.

( This is the sign I left today. I thought I'd get a little creative. )

The background:

Why is it that everything seems to always happen at once? What I consider to be my main job is working at my local library. I also work part-time in an accounting office doing archiving.


The story:

For almost two years the library has been renovating. This means that we've spent the better part of that time working in less than 1/16th of the building with a very reduced staff while the rest of the building was being spiffed up. The last two months have been a doosy; we've had off with partial pay while that 1/16th was added to the rest of the renovations.


The problem:

Now we're all moving back into the main building and setting up to reopen to the public. Basically we're moving and setting up a whole new operation (the sheer mass of the library has expanded so much as to make a total overhaul of the present operating system necessary). They've had two years to do this. Now that they finally are, the accounting firm has decided to move. Both businesses have had over a year to futz around, and typically, they both decide to move at the same time! Thank you, oh so much.


The expletives:

This is supposed to be during my Christmas break. I worked my ass off at the end of last semester. All I wanted was a freakin' break!


Problem No. II


Background:

I am a full time student. I work in the library 15-20 hours a week (normally, sometimes more, never less). The accounting job is as needed, which is generally 10 hours a week Jan-Feb, 15 hours March, and full time in April. I'll ignore the rest of the year for now, as that's not all that relevant. On top of this I dog sit apx. 15-20 days a month. I get very tired. Thank god I don't have a kid.

The accounting office I work in is a cooperative of three different firms. I currently work for two of them. This new location is this first time the third firm is really sharing space with us.

Problem:

So as we're unpacking, desperately searching for missing items, cursing, assembling computers, eating, more cursing, screaming at the phone to stop ringing, screaming at the moving guys to stop destorying, cursing, trying to figure out what the hell's going on, boss of company number three tells me that this year he's going to have me do his archiving. He doesn't ask, he just says. Fortunately he is a guy I can tell to stick it, but I have confrontation issues. Plus I'm too nice to say no. Wisely I didn't say anything as specific as okay or go to hell. I did ask his client count, and how soon into tax season he expects to get his work done, and naturally he had no answers for me.

Pros:
More work=more money.

Cons:
More hours.

The Question:

To work, or not to work? Do I have time? Do I like pretty green paper with dead guys on it?

Yahoo! Woot woot! I finally got a new computer. Now it won't freeze every time I run across flash (which is disturbingly often these days!). This is the first time I've ever seen a Mac that wasn't white. Yeah for black computers! Ah, it's the little things that make me happy. Well, actually my bank is hurting, poor little college student and all, but on with the good times!